“I wanted to know if they heard it as loud as I did,” my patient remarked, as we wrapped up a tinnitus treatment session. She was telling me that she was often checking in with friends and family, asking them if they experienced their tinnitus as loud as she had. The problem with that is that she was using people around her as a point of reference rather than developing the skills to manage her experience independently
The thought, “How bad is my tinnitus compared to everyone else’s?” keeps the nervous system on high alert.
We now understand that the central nervous system can amplify tinnitus when the body remains in a constant state of vigilance. This creates an ongoing “scanning” cycle—we check with others about their tinnitus, we monitor our surroundings for the sound, we search online for answers. We look everywhere except inward. If we really ran an internal scan, the facts would inform us that we are not in immediate danger and there is no need to stay on guard.
Most of us do this in some form—and not only with tinnitus. We look to places and people outside of ourselves when our real truths are within. We just need to quiet all the noise around us to hear them.
